I finally understand
by dunnowhatnametotake
Summary: Set after Tori goes platinum. Jade gets hurt really bad.She is unconscious and in the hospital. Everyone is worried, including Beck. Yeah, I suck at summaries...First story ever so please give it a chance! Read and don't forget to review! Bade of course, those two are the best.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! so this is my first fanfiction, I really hope you will like it. It's a bade cuz I just love them together and I can't believe they broke up :,( anyway, this is set just after the actual break up and after beck's trial to kiss Tori too**. **First chapter is kind of short, but it will get longer if you like the story. And I am sorry for the mistakes, 'cause I know there must be many of them. Finally, I will switch POVs I think it's better like that. But if you don't like the idea tell me!**

**So enjoy the reading, and please review! :)**

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**Chapter one : No car and drunks guys.**

**Jade's POV :**

It had been a normal day at HA, well as normal as it could be after my break up with Beck…I winced at the name, it still hurt, especially knowing that he had moved on so easily, and tried to kiss the one and only : Vega ! He didn't love me, he only made me think so. Well he was a great actor, and I had been stupid enough to fall for it. I hated him so much for that, and miss Perfect too…But yet again, she had pushed him, not wanting his kiss, how could I blame her after that ? She was what they call a good friend, and she was my friend, even if I would never admit it.

It was dark already, and quieter than usual, colder also, but I loved it, the cold, the darkness…the Wicked Witch of the West didn't get that name for nothing, it wasn't that bad, everyone at school « feared me », it was funny. I could get entertained that way, but I didn't have deep psychological problems as they all thought, I'd just had a really bad relationship with some people, long story...Only Beck knew, but he had betrayed me too. I still don't fully believe he could do that to me, but I was determined not to change my behavior the slightest bit. he was never going to know it hurt me, ever.

How would you expect someone like me to act normal ? Or to even try to get along with people ? It was impossible, even more now that HE didn't open the door, that the last person I had loved and trusted had let me go, stopped loving me, once again.

I was almost home now, I noticed, I had been so lost in my thoughts I didn't know how I got there. It was getting even colder. Why didn't I bring the car ? Oh yeah, my dad had taken it. He, mom, and my little bro weren't home, they had gone to visit my grandmother, and had to take my car since theirs was being repaired. As much as I would have wanted to go, I couldn't because of school. Well it wasn't bad, I liked being home alone, not that I didn't like my family or something. People all think I have some kind of crazy family, abusive dad or drug addict mother…well not at all, they are just normal. Yeah, my father is somehow cold, he doesn't really like the way I dress, and it's normal since I am not the perfect girl I am supposed to be, but I know he cares, and he's never laid a finger on me or on my brother. And my mother was just the average over-protective type, that's it. But they were all moving and talking too much when they were home, I preferred my loneliness, typical me.

A sound got me out of my thoughts, someone was coming near me, two guys, one was tall and looked well built, the other was average and holding something in his hands, a bottle. As I looked closer, they didn't seem in their right state, were they drunk of something ? I soon knew, since when they got closer, an alcohol sent came with them.

« Well helloo sweetie ! what are you doing here ? alone ? at night ? » the tall one said, with a weird expression. I looked at him and shrugged, then took one step wanting to go home. But the other one grabbed me by the arm, and pushed me next to him, my heart skipped a beat.

« It's rude not answering darling ! » he told me with a smirk, while I struggled to get out of his grip, his face was only inches from mine.

« You'd better let go of me if you want to stay alive ! » Honestly, I wonder how and why I said that, I was the one needing help there, yet I looked at him with determined eyes, as if it would scare him…Jade West was not the kind to be afraid of some boy.

« Hahaha, got a good one here, well at least we will have some fun ! » the tall jerk again with his perverted smirk. The other was bringing me closer to his face, with a disgusting look in it.

« Yeah, guess this night won't go wasted after all. » As he spoke I had finally detached myself, hit him hard in a strategic place then started running and screaming for help. Someone would hear me, they had to ! right ?

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**Here you are! Tell me what you think please, I already have the next chapter planned, and I will start writing it right now :D**

**R&R :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey people! Did anyone ever tell you how awesome you are? Thank you so much for the reviews :D and keep reading please.**

**I did my best to finish this chapter real quick, I just hope you will like it and still enjoy my story. And does anyone know when the episode "Tori saves Beck and Jade" will be out? I am soooo impatient.**

**Last thing, I didn't know I had to put a disclaimer, so here it is: I obviously don't own Victorious, I wish I did, thought...**

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**Chapter two : Unexpected phone call.**

**André's POV**

I was at the door of Nozu with Beck, we had decided on a night guys here after a boring day at HA, Robbie was invited to, but apparently, Rex had a date with one of his Northridge girls.

« I wonder how the puppy does. » I said to Beck when we just got off his car.

« Not like he was alive. Robbie does all the work. » he said with a smile.

« Yeah, but man, he is helpless without his puppy. » I heard Beck laughing then my pearphone started ringing, I took it from my pocket and looked at the caller's ID : Jade.

Why would Jade call ME ? Especially at this time, I considered her as a friend, at times I wanted her to be more than that. But well, she was very expressive when it came to being sarcastic and much less when it consisted of showing affection. This was weird. I had a bad feeling about it. I looked at Beck who seemed alerted too, and then answered.

« Hey Jade, what's up ? » I said then she started shouting.

« ANDRE ! PLEASE HELP ME. THEY WANT TO HURT ME. PLEASE. » I was chocked by how terrified she seemed. Never, oh never, Jade was afraid, she was the one scaring the others, including me. What in the world was happening to make her freak out this much? I looked at Beck, his eyes were wide open, all color had been drained from his face, he looked like some ghost, and seemed terrified too. I thought he was going to faint any second now.

« What is it Jade ? What's happening ? » I quickly asked, and heard footsteps and panting, she was running.

« I WAS JUST HEADING HOME WHEN THEY FOLLOWED ME. Please… » she screamed again, and at the back ground I could hear someone else « There you are. You little bitch ! » the sound of a phone falling, then the « thud » of a body, and then nothing.

« Jade ! JADE ! » I shouted in my phone, but nothing. « Call the police, Now ! » I said to Beck, who seemed to be in some kind of trance. He only came to sense after hearing my voice.

**Beck's POV :**

« Call the police, Now ! » André was saying, but I couldn't move, I was stricken. My mind was enable to process the events. Jade ! All I knew was Jade was in danger…I had to do something . And now.

« You call the police. » I said to André while dragging him to my car, I wasn't going to wait for the police to come, Jade was in danger, I couldn't even imagine what they were doing to her right now. My whole body was shaking as I started the car.

Honestly, I couldn't tell you how I got to Jade's neighborhood . It's like it wasn't me driving that car. André didn't talk to me, he was just staring at the road, trying to find Jade, I think he was in shock. As for me, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would jerk out of my chest.

I had slowed down, looking for any sign of something unusual, hoping I would find Jade as quickly as possible. The police had been alerted, yet there was no sign of them. I was so freaked out, I could only imagine how she was feeling…alone with those jerks, it was overwhelming, what if something happened to her ? I wouldn't forgive myself. I was usually the one bringing her home, before we broke up, and now she was in their hands. They had Jade, they had the girl I loved. And it was all my fault.

It was calm, too calm, how could people go on with their lives while my Jade was out there, alone ? I couldn't believe no one had noticed anything when it was so silent, her shouts must have been loud enough. Suddenly, I saw something moving, next to some house, it was a shadow, André saw it too.

« There. I think there is someone. » He shouted. I instantly stopped the car and got off. André and I started running, until we reached the shadow…it was only a cat. A cat! How can it be a cat ? Where is Jade ? I slammed my fist onto the wall, and André tried to calm me down. That was when I heard it, the cry that broke my heart.

« NOOOO ! GET OFF ME. PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME.» Her voice was so full of fear, never had I heard something like that, she was pleading. Jade never pleaded, no one, ever. I started running again quickly followed by André.

When I reached Jade, and saw her face covered with blood and tears, her body unrecognisibly bruised, her pale skin paler than usual, her normally bright big eyes almost shut, I think I lost it. All this was so unrealistic. It only happened in my worst nightmares. I hoped that this was only one of them and that I would wake up panting and afraid, but at least Jade would be fine.

The last think I remember is running to the man who was grabbing her by the hair trying to slap her, and punching him. He fell to the ground and I continued beating him up with all the strength I had. He would pay for even thinking of hurting her . I was going to kill him. Now.

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**Second ****chapter now over. :) Once again, I will try to be as quick as possible. Please tell me what you think.**

**See you soon, hopefully. **

**R&R **


	3. Chapter 3

**Here I am again with a new chapter. Thank you all for reviewing, favouriting and following. It feels so good knowing that people actually like my story :D Thank you again.**

**This chapter will mostly be about how Beck is feeling I hope you will like it. :)**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review please.**

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**Chapter three : Jade may die.**

**Beck's POV:**

The man was now coughing blood, I had done my best kicking him as much as I could, but I had stopped after glancing at Jade. She was really in a bad state…I run towards her and crouched next to her. There was so much blood, and bruises covered her whole body. I put a hand under her neck, I felt an overwhelming pain and guilt. Now more than ever her body felt so small against mine. She was shaking and frozen.

"Hey, Jade, please wake up, it's me, it's Beck..." I said, slowly touching her face. She didn't respond. "Please, don't do that to me, I know you are stronger than that, wake up. Come on, please... » My voice broke in the middle of my sentence.

She turned her head and opened her eyes, looking at me for less than a second, then closed them. "No! stay with me, please." I pleaded once more. But she didn't move. I couldn't stop this feeling inside me, and it hurt, I felt like I was loosing her... And rage was building up inside me, even stronger than before. I headed towards that jerk again. He was going to die in my hands.

André's POV :

Jade was in such an horrible state I wanted to throw up. I could barely contain my rage. How could someone do that to a girl ? I saw Beck punch one of the men, the tallest, then the other just run away, and I soon knew why : the police had finally arrived. I run to beck and tried restraining him from the man he was beating up. He was furious, shouting and trying to get off my grip, I knew if I let him go he would kill the man. And he had every right to, seeing the state Jade was in…

Then, it all happened in a blur, the police officers grabbed the man, one of them told me to take my friend, pointing to Beck, and an ambulance came to take Jade away.

Beck who I thought had gone mad was not moving now, he was only looking at Jade with fear written all over his features, and he started shaking. The guy had punched him too, his eye was turning black, he was biting his lips and I felt like he was fighting not to cry. His eyes followed Jade until she was in the ambulance and out of sight.

The ambulance was long gone now, but he still stared at the spot where Jade was. It was all covered in blood, and now Beck's face only showed despair.

« Hey man, we need to go, Jade must be in the hospital now. I'm driving. » I said, knowing he was in no shape driving his care right now.

« Yeah… » he almost whispered, and then slowly took his keys and gave them to me. I had never seen Beck like that, it was as if he was some robot, programmed to act the way he did, like he was dead inside.

On our way to the hospital, I called Tori, Robbie and Cat. They needed to know, and as I expected they were all in chock and said they would come to the hospital as quickly as they could. Beck was sitting next to me, he still hadn't said a word…

Beck's POV :

I couldn't believe this was true, it couldn't be. It must be a horrible nightmare, I would just open my eyes and be in my bed, then I would go to HA The first thing I would do is apologize to Jade, for everything. I only had to wake up and it would all be over. But I closed my eyes tight and opened them again, and nothing had changed. I was still in my car with André. I looked at him, he was focused on the road and seemed worried…so it wasn't a dream, it was all real, the girl I love had been beaten up by those jerks. I couldn't bear it, what if she…died ? I couldn't bring myself to even imagine that. She would make it, she had to.

Jade was strong, the strongest girl I had ever seen…Yet I had seen her, with my own eyes, covered in blood, c-crying, bruises all over her pale skin. She looked so vulnerable. There was so much blood. Why would they do that ? I couldn't keep my eyes off Jade while they were putting her in the ambulance, she had slowly closed her eyes, slumping into unconsciousness. She was broken, how did I let it happen ? I wanted to be next to her right now, do something, hold her close to me, hug her and tell her everything was going to be ok, but I was stuck in this car and I couldn't move. My body didn't respond. It was not going to be alright, Jade was hurt, I felt like all of it was because of me. And it was.

We had somehow made it to the hospital, and were sitting in the hall, waiting for news, any news, and hoping Jade was going to make it. André was facing me, he was fidgeting and didn't seem able to stay in place. I couldn't help but to wonder why he was the one she had called, why not me. I was not her boyfriend anymore, and that was the stupidest thing I had ever done, but André ? She wasn't even that close to him…. It really wasn't the time for that, we had been waiting for an hour or two now, our friends started coming. First was Tori, she'd been crying and seemed so sad. She came next to me and hugged me.

« Beck ! I'm so sorry…how could something like that happen ?» She said, her voice cracking. Then she noticed my eye. « What-What happened to your eye ? » She asked looking like she would break to tears again.

« Don't talk like she is dead or something ! » I snarled, not meaning it to come so harsh. « I-I am sorry, Tori…I just-it's hard. And my eye, one of the guys punched me, I think.» I couldn't concentrate, just didn't know what I was doing at that moment.

« It's okay, don't worry. I just hope she is fine. » She said in an understanding tone and went next to André.

After that, Robbie and Cat came. The red head was sobbing, she was like a baby, Cat loved Jade like a sister, they had always been really close, I could imagine the pain she felt . But I was sure no one could feel as destroyed as me. Robbie was holding her so she wouldn't fall, they directly went to two chairs and sat, he didn't bring the puppet, I noticed. Robbie looked at my defeated face with fear in his eyes then dropped his gaze. We sat in silence. Why was that doctor taking so long ? It had already been two hours ! As the thought crossed my mind, the doctor showed up, he was expressionless, I couldn't tell if he had good or bad news. I hoped with all my soul it would not be something too bad. She needed to stay alive. I needed her to. From the looks of it I wasn't the only one.

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**Cliffhanger :D What is the doctor going to say? I am working on it right now. I think it will be ready by tomorrow. I hope you liked this chapter. See you soon ^^**

**R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey there people! Did you really think I could kill Jade? Haha! I am glad you did because that means the suspense thingy worked :D Thank you again for reading my story and reviewing. I love you guys.**

**Here is a short chapter, I wanted to publish as quickly as possible. The next one will come later today or tomorrow. I hope you continue reading. And please don't forget to review. :)**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter four: Events at the hospital.**

**(Still) Beck's POV **:

As soon as we had seen the doctor, everyone had jumped off their seats, asking him the obvious questions.

« How is she ? »

« Is she gonna be fine ? »

« Can we see her ? »

The doctor sighed « She is still unconscious, we are going to keep her in the emergency room for a while. Your friend has broken ribs and many bruises, but the most dangerous thing is she has a severe concussion, we hope she wakes up quickly. That would be a good sign. She is stable now but as long as she is unconscious you can't do much more. » At that, everyone was silent, we all just looked at him, what did it mean? Was she going to make it?

I broke the silence « Can you tell us honestly if you think she will make it, doctor? » I didn't recognize my own voice, it was so desperate…

« I can't assure you she will, she has already lost a lot of blood. In fact it's a miracle that she even made it here… » The doctor said honestly.

I took a step back and stumbled, all energy leaving my body. I felt a strong dizziness then found myself sitting on the chair. I vaguely heard someone ask if we could see her.

This was a nightmare, I thought again, before regaining enough energy, standing up and listening to what the doctor was saying. « Yes, you can see her, but you'd better come back tomorrow, it's no use seeing her in that state now. » I wasn't going anywhere. I had to see her, he had just said she may not live, I couldn't go.

« We are going to see her, just tell us where she is. » I said in a robot-like voice. The doctor nodded and told us her whereabouts; we all headed to her room. I was leading the way.

I took a deep breath, and reluctantly opened the door. I had already seen her in that state, but as I approached my heart broke all over again. I didn't even know that it was possible, but I felt so much pain I wished I would die, I wished it was me instead of her. I walked slowly to her bed. She was still too pale, some new bruises had started forming in her face, and she was connected to so many machines. I wanted to rip everything and to shake her up, maybe then she would wake up. Or maybe if I call her name she will open her eyes.

« J-Jade… » I whispered, my voice was not cold anymore, it cracked and only then did I know that I was crying without realizing it. « Jade, please wake up. » I didn't even bother to wipe my tears. As much as I wanted her to wake up, slap me, threaten me with her scissors for letting her go, do whatever she wanted, but just be alive, she didn't. She stayed as still as a stone. Her breathing steady and her eyes shut. I turned to the others and saw chock in their faces. Tori Cat and Robbie were looking at her in shock. André had sat down and had his head buried in his hands. Suddenly, Cat stormed out of the room. She probably couldn't bear it… Robbie quickly followed her. Tori went to André's side and was trying to console him again, and I stayed next to my sleeping princess.

« Beck, you need to go get some sleep, you look awful. » André said after a while in a low voice.

« No, I am not moving until she wakes up, but you and Tori should go, I guess it's very late. » I said and looked at my watch, four in the morning. « You can come back tomorrow. »

André looked at me, and then at Jade, then back at me. He reluctantly agreed and stood up.

« What about her parents? Did someone tell them? » Tori asked as she was heading to the door.

« I-I don't think so, they are not in town, but I think we should wait for them to come. I know her mom, she wouldn't stay calm enough to make it here if she knew her daughter was…hurt like that. » I answered looking once again at my broken pearl.

« Ok, Beck, we will be going now, call us if there is anything, ok? » Tori said. I nodded and they went out and closed the door.

I took my phone, five missed call from my parents. I couldn't talk to them right now, so I decided to send a message, they will surely understand.

To : Dad.

From : Beck.

I am at the hospital, I'm fine don't worry. Jade got hurt I have to stay with her.

The answer quickly arrived, which was not surprising. They must have been really worried.

To : Beck.

From : Dad.

It's okay Beck. I really hope she gets well quickly. We are coming right now.

My dad didn't like Jade at first, especially after the dog accident. But as he got to know her, and to know how happy she made me, he had finally accepted her. I didn't tell my parents we had broken up. But I think they figured it out, I was not really myself lately. Not that I was demonstrative when it came to my emotions, but I know I had been colder than the usual.

I was now alone with Jade, and I couldn't keep my eyes from travelling all over her unmoving body, or from crying all the tears I had, and I didn't know they were so many. I was glad my friends weren't here to see me like that. I just was destroyed.

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**the next chapter's title is "complications" (as if things weren't complicated enough like that, I know.) please look forward to it, I have a good idea. But I want an advice: should Jade wake up already? And then the couple stuff can start, or should she stay unconscious a little more so Beck has even more remorse (poor him.)? Please tell me what you think.**

**R&R**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey people! As you see, I have been really quick and I've finished my next chapter :D So here comes "complications" Hopefully, you will like it and continue reading my story. Thank you one more time for the reviews, I really appreciate that.**

**I have decided that Jade stays unconscious for now, since it's cool exploring Beck's feelings as some of you said. I don't really think of the anemia, but thanks for your suggestions, they do help me :D**

**Please don't forget to review.**

**Enjoy :)**

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**Chapter five: Complications.**

**Jade's POV :**

Everything was darkness and pain. I couldn't open my eyes or move my body, nothing. It was as if I was imprisoned in some dark room and attached by my wrists and legs…a horror movie of which I was the tortured character. I loved horror movies, but only when I was watching them and not actually living them. No matter how much I struggled, nothing happened. It was scary, I was never scared of anything but now it was different. The worst part was that I didn't even know where I was, maybe I was dead ? And this was hell. I wasn't the nicest person on earth so it was very expectable.

I tried to remember all the events that had happened and a flash of memories came to my mind : I saw myself heading home, lost in my thoughts, then two men appeared…I was running, André's voice when I called him…then pain, an overwhelming pain as they kicked me. I couldn't do anything about it, I was outnumbered and they were definitely stronger than me. Finally, I saw Beck…saving me from the man who was grabbing me. But no. It couldn't be him, how would he know ? And why would he care ? I wanted to shout, but I couldn't and I slowly closed my eyes.

The flashes stopped and I could feel my breathing getting quicker and harder as I started gasping for air, my lungs didn't seem to fill in with enough of it. Then I heard the bip of a monitor, was I in a hospital? I hate hospitals, but it was relieving, at least it meant I was still alive…for now. Because the pain just got to a whole new level. I didn't know how long I would stand it.

All my senses seemed to be broken, but suddenly I heard a voice, the only opening on the living word I had.

"Jade ! Help, call a doctor ! Something is happening to her." Beck? It was definitely him…the sound was faint but I recognized him. So he was here? Why ? I thought he hated me. The « bip » was quicker now. I felt a new shot of pain then nothing. And everything went blank.

Beck's POV :

I had been sitting with Jade for a while now, the tears had somehow stopped, but my eyes were burning, and the bleeding pain in my heart was still present. I couldn't move, I sat there, holding her freezing and bruised hand, looking at her motionless body and praying she would be OK. I tried my best to keep my mind from drifting to the horrible idea that she could die. I couldn't imagine my life without her.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by her breathing, it was getting quicker and harder. Her face twisted in pain. I quickly got up and shouted : « Jade ! Help, call a doctor ! Something is happening to her ! » I headed towards the door and saw the doctor from earlier and a nurse running in my direction.

« She's hyperventilating! » The nurse said as she reached Jade's bed. The doctor put a mask on her face, then brought a needle and picked her in the arm.

All my body was shaking and my head was pounding so bad. I heard the « bip » slow down, which calmed me down a slight bit, but I couldn't stay in this room anymore, it was just too much. Seeing her like that was killing me inside. It was hell for me.

When I reached the reception I noticed the sun had started to rise, I hadn't slept the whole night but I didn't care. I rubbed my eyes, the left one hurt. It was probably black by now, but again I couldn't care less. All I could think about was Jade.

Jade, Jade, Jade. Why in the world did she have to endure that ? She was the strongest and most incredible girl I had ever known. Yet, here she was now, broken, hurt, vulnerable…And I, the one who was supposed to protect her, hadn't done my job.

I loved her so much, and only now did I realize how much I needed her and how much I had hurt her by not opening that door. I was such a big jerk. I felt like crying again, but then I saw my parents coming and decided I had to pull myself together.

I stood up and went to my mother. "Beck! What happened to your eye?" was her first question. Of course she would worry about me more than Jade.

"I got hit by the man who attacked Jade; I was trying to save her." I explained everything that had happened, my mother winced as I told her the state my ex-girlfriend that I loved more than anything was in.

"We will go to her room, will you come with us?" My dad asked. I shook my head and he looked at me with understanding.

"You should go home, you look awful." My mother said.

"I can't, I have to stay here until she wakes up. Please understand." I told her. She seemed worried.

"But won't you go to school?"she asked.

"I can't! Alright?" I shouted, I hadn't meant to do it. "I am sorry, but I can't." I said in a calmer tone. "Please, I don't want to leave her alone…"

My dad put his hand on my shoulder and nodded. "We will be going now, you can stay, I understand that."

I responded with the brightest smile I could produce, at least they were understanding.

After a while, I went to back to Jade's room. I hesitantly opened the room, afraid of what I was going to see. As I entered, I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. She was not conscious but at least she monitor wasn't freaking out, and her breathing was steady. She seemed to be in a peaceful sleep…But I knew better. I sat down in the chair next to her, took her pale hand in mine and kissed it. "I hope you will get better soon, I love you." Then the tiredness got the best of me and I fell asleep on the chair.

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**So? What do you think? please tell me :D**

**Coming next is "the awakening?" I am using the "?" for a reason (hehehe) I will try to update as soon as possible. Hope you will like it.**

**R&R ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Time for another update! :D thank you one more time for the reviews! And please continue reviewing. That really helps ^^**

**Enjoy! **

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**Chapter six: The awakening?**

**Tori's POV:**

What a night. So much had happened in such a short time. I couldn't believe only the day before we had been rehearsing a play with Sikowitz, and now Jade was in a hospital bed, possibly dying.

I had got home, but I couldn't get any sleep after the state I had seen her in. Beck must be living hell, I could only imagine how he was feeling now. He truly loved her. I was sure of it and I had been right when I didn't let him kiss me when he had tried. He had just been confused after their break up.

I was supposed to go to school today, but I absolutely couldn't. They would surely understand; my parents did anyway. So at eight I was ready to go. André came to pick me up and he looked as if he hadn't slept either.

"No sleep for you too?" I said as I took my seat.

"No, I couldn't close my eyes." He said in a tired voice then sighed.

We were all shaken by the recent event, André more than the others I supposed, since he was the one Jade had called. We kept silent for the rest of the way, and when we arrived at the hospital, we found Beck asleep on a chair. His hand and Jade's were intertwined. I felt so bad for him…I didn't want to imagine the worst.

"Should we wake him up?" I asked André, or rather whispered.

"No, I think he really needs some rest. You should have seen him yesterday, he was like crazy. He wanted to kill that man." He answered.

"I totally understand that." I said and sat down on a chair. Beck didn't have the chance to get much more sleep.

**Beck's POV:**

I was jolted awake by a scream of terror.

"JAAADE!" My heart skipped a beat for one more time these two days, I was going to have a heart attack if it continued. As I turned I saw Cat and sighed in relief. Thank God, Jade was still in her bed. Nothing alarming had happened to her. The red hair was just unpredictable and she probably freaked out once again as she spotted Jade.

"What the hell was that?" Robbie said as he appeared at the door. "I was coming here and heard someone scream."

"It's just Cat". I answered "You should-" I was cut by another shout.

"LOOOK!"

"Cat! What is it again?" I screamed at her. My nerves had been tested enough for the rest of my life, this was starting to piss me off.

"It's-it's Jade! I saw her hand moving, I swear." As she said that, we all rushed to Jade's bed. I wouldn't believe it until I saw it myself. I was looking for the slightest movement of her body, and eventually, her hand moved. I took it in mine.

"Come on Jade, wake up, please. Do it, I know you can… " But she didn't open her eyes. "Jade, it's Beck, I love you. Please wake up, I am begging you." I pleaded, holding her hand. Her eyelids were finally starting to move. And much too slowly, she opened her eyes. I was so happy I could have started jumping everywhere, everyone was smiling widely, looking at her in disbelief.

Jade just stared at us, her face a mixture of too many emotions to decipher. She tried to sit up but it obviously hurt her because she tried to hold a scream of pain. "No, don't move. Someone calls the doctor, quick!"

**Jade's POV:**

"Jade, it's Beck, I love you. Please wake up, I am begging you." Were the first words I heard after emerging from what seemed like the deepest sleep I had ever had. My whole body hurt, and I struggled to open my eyes, until I finally managed to. The gang was here, they were all smiling the biggest smiles I had ever seen in my lives. Ugh. What was that all for? I tried to sit down, but as I moved, then pain hit me all over again. Ok, no movement for Jade.

"No, don't move. Someone calls the doctor, quick!" It was Beck. I turned my eyes to look at him, and for a long time there was only us. I felt like crying. He was looking relieved, happy and worried at the same time. Why? And why was his eye black?

Memories were rushing over me again. He had saved me. But at the same time, I knew he didn't love me. It sure was painful to think about it, so confusing. I felt like bursting into tears. But he would not see me cry, even now. He was not special anymore. I still hadn't lost my mind and knew he had dumped me. So why did he say he loved me just now? Or was it just in my mind? I didn't have the time to wonder any longer, Cat broke our trance.

"Jaaade, you're finally awake!" she shouted, and the next second she was hugging me tight; God, that did hurt.

"You're hurting me!" I tried to shout back, but it merely came out as a whisper.

"Cat get off her." Beck said pulling her back. "Are you okay? The doctor is coming right now, don't worry, you will be fine." He continued, rushing back next to me. I just stared at him. Why was he doing that? Why was he acting like he cared? I thought he hated me. It was so confusing…

"I-I am fine." I replied in an inaudible voice, finally managing to sit down. They were all talking to me, telling me how glad they were that I was finally axake, but I didn't really pay attention, I was still messed up. It was more emotionally than physically. My head started pounding even more. I tried to rip all those things that were clinging to my body. I just wanted to get out.

"What are you doing?" Tori Perfect Vega said, sounding alarmed.

"Getting out of here." Seriously, I was insane. Why did I do that? I was so confused.

"You're not getting anywhere!" Beck said trying to restrain me.

"Why do you care?" I said my voice getting stronger. Beck looked at me in awe for a moment. I took it as a chance to stand up. But as soon as I did so, my head felt like breaking, my vision became blurry, I felt myself falling…

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**Well that's it for now. I hope you liked it! Read and review please :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Baaack :D I swear when I read your reviews it's like it gives me wings. It makes want to share with you everything right now, if only it was written... Anyway I'm doing my best to update as quickly as possible. Thank you for the reviews and keep up with that please :)**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter :p**

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**Chapter seven: It's going to be OK.**

**Beck's POV:**

What was she thinking? Was she out of her mind? How could someone who had just been unconscious for a whole night try to "get out of here" as quickly as they woke up? I know Jade is though, she doesn't like to feel weak, but come on! That was seriously crazy.

Fortunately, André and I had managed to catch her just before she fell to the ground, her eyes were closed again. At that moment Robbie and the doctor entered the room. He rushed over her.

"What happened here?" he asked, sounding nervous.

"She-she woke up and tried to get up." André said, speaking for the first time.

"And you let her? Are you stupid?" The doctor answered glaring at all of us.

"No, of course we didn't." Tori said. "We tried to restrain her but she managed to and then collapsed." As she was talking, we had put Jade back on her bed. She was still again.

"What happened to her? Why did she collapse like that?" I asked, feeling worried at this new rebound.

"It must be because of the concussion. As I told you before, it's pretty severe…she might have just made it worse." The doctor said, cold once again.

No, no, no. Not again please. How could it get any worse? I felt like I was losing my temper again, I had to quickly get out of there. And so I did. I went straight to the bathrooms and punched a door. It helped me calm down a bit. Then I splashed some water over my face and noticed how awful I looked in the mirror. I got out, sat on the floor I buried my face in my hands. I was so upset. And her eyes when she had looked at me for the first time flashed in my head. It was disbelief, confusion, anger, worry. I knew her more than anyone, and I knew that look. I bet she thought I hated her after the break up… But I didn't, I had been wrong all the way. I shouldn't have let that door closed in the first place. And while she had been unconscious in that hospital bed I had finally understood the many mistakes I had done. She was surely impulsive, but we didn't fight all day only because of her. And I had blamed her for everything. Never had I protected her, I only scolded her every time she was cold towards someone, the worst was that I knew her past, therefore I couldn't blame her for her character…God, I even said I had a car when she was upset in the classroom. I felt so guilty I wanted someone to punch me right in the face. I had been stupid enough to let her go.

For a long time, I sat in the floor next to the bathroom thinking, probably more than an hour. Tori was the one to get me out of my guilty thoughts.

"Beck! I looked everywhere for you. Why did you storm out? What was that? Besides, Jade woke up." She saw my head jerking in her side as she mentioned Jade and quickly continued. "She seems OK, I mean, relatively, but the doctor told André not to let her do any movement. He thinks she didn't worsen anything but he said he needed a radio to be sure. He is going to do it in the afternoon. And her chest ribs are broken, so anything is dangerous. The doctor said she couldn't do anything more than sit in her bed. Not a single movement. She is very lucky, apparently." She explained to me. Nothing mattered, I only cared about a thing: Jade was alive and awake!

"Let's go see her!" I said cheerfully, and headed to her room. Tori followed me.

Once I was there, I noticed Sikowitz and Lane were had come too. Jade was actually smiling. What a sight! She was dazzling, bruised and sickly pale but still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I was looking only at her, her eyes had lost a bit of their brightness, and she seemed tired. As if she would faint at any moment. Her lower lip was cut. It made me think of that guy, and how I had wanted him dead so bad. I went next to her bed, as I sat, I noticed Tori telling the others to leave us alone. As soon as they got out, I started "Jade! I am so glad you're alive and-"

She cut me in the middle of my sentence. "Why are you doing this?" She said. I didn't understand. "Why did you save me, stay with me the whole night-Cat told me- and why do you seem so worried? Why do-ugh- you care?" She finished , holding her side, her face twisting.

"Are you OK? Does it hurt a lot?" I asked her, worried again and completely forgetting about the subject we were discussing.

"It's nothing, just answer me." She said and tried to hide the signs of pain and confusion in her face.

"What do you mean why do I care? I love you Jade, when I saw you like that I was about to lose my mind! I went through hell and back Jade, it's been horrible." I tried to touch her face but she flinched. I didn't want to tell her all these things, at least not now. I wanted to enjoy seeing her alive, those things could come later. But I found out I couldn't stand her hating me, we needed to solve this. I needed us to become Beck and Jade again.

"You broke up with me Beck. And if this accident hadn't happened you wouldn't have changed a thing. You don't have to feel sorry for me…" She stated, I knew she was going to say that. Jade hated people to pity her, but that wasn't the case, I knew her, I didn't pity her, and most importantly, I loved her.

"Look, we can talk about that later. Did someone call my parents or something?" She continued, changing the subject.

"No, I told them not to. I knew your mother would freak out. And let's talk about it, please." I said, reaching for her hand.

"I-I really don't want to right now." She answered removing her hand and looking down.

"It made me realize how much I need you Jade. I think I would probably go insane if I ever loose you. I am not myself without you." I answered; every word that had left my mouth was true.

"You didn't need me when you tried to kiss Tori."

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**That's it for now :D What do you think? I really really hope you liked it. Please don't forget to review.**

**The next chapter is called "forgive me" but I don't think Jade is ready to forgive Beck already ;) twists coming...**

**R&R**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello! So I had a lot of trouble deciding whose POV to start this chapter with, I finally choose Beck but I think it would have been good in Jade's POV too...Anyway, I hope you like it, and please review :D**

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**Chapter eight: Forgive me.**

**Beck's POV:**

"You didn't need me when you tried to kiss Tori." She said; it was a statement. And it cut me through more than if she had used the sharpest of her scissors. My mind went blank for a second. How did she know? There was no way she could have seen us. I was expecting anything, literally anything, but not that. My mouth opened for a moment before I could react.

"What?" It was all I could manage to say. And even that one word came out of my mouth as a whisper.

"And you know what hurt me most? It's that SHE was the one to push you, for my sake. And then-then you told her how mean I was. It didn't feel so good, you know. You've moved on so easily; Was it all a joke to you? For three years I have believed in only you. And you know how hard it is for me to trust others. And how can you say you love me?" She looked at my still puzzled face and continued, my heart was beating too fast again. "Cat's laptop was still open, so I looked at the whole scene "on live"." She shrugged. "You started this Beck, I didn't want to talk about it. But you don't have to lie anymore now, to tell me you love me." I was speechless. All this was true, I had tried to kiss Tori, but I had been confused and we were alone, and she was so nice to me… I had just been confused.

"I-I didn't mean to do that, I was just so confused…Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake that I have ever done, and I have regretted it ever since. I can't even tell you how sorry I am. Please, can you forgive me?"

"Don't be so predictable Beck, I hate it. You know, I was jealous and all, you didn't like that. But I was sure she was after you. It turns out you liked her. There is no other explanation. It's your choice, and since you're not my boyfriend I have nothing to say. Just-just don't confuse me like that, please." Every word she was saying stabbed me in the heart like a knife. She didn't feel like herself. As I looked at her I saw the hurt and the sadness clearly written in her face. Maybe she was right and we shouldn't have talked about this now. Maybe she was right and it was too soon.

I still couldn't speak, and so we sat in silence. Until she spoke again "André told me what you did. I-thank you Beck." She said, holding my hand. Being able to touch her felt really good. "You really saved my life. Thank you for staying with me all this time. I don't get it but thanks anyway. And please don't say what you don't feel. It's not right." She finished, smiling. Why was she so calm? The Jade I knew shouted at me and threatened me, she would hate me, she had personality. The girl next to me was broken, like she had lost all hope. I was the one responsible. I had let her down. But I wasn't lying. I hadn't moved on. No, I had just discovered what loving someone meant. It was wonderful, painful, horrible, fantastic…Like being in heaven and hell in the same time. But the hell part was only my fault.

"I need to get some rest now, and so do you. You look awful." She said in this frightening calm tone, then slowly turned and leaned on her bed. Her back was now facing me. I didn't know what to do. This was totally not what I had expected. I thought I would tell her to forgive me, that I loved her. And she would shout at me, or throw something at me, or both, but then she would cool down eventually and everything would be OK again, like it had happened all the other times. But I had pushed her too far, hurt her too much. It seemed beyond repair. So I decided to leave for now. Go home and take a bath. I was the one making her suffer now; that was so not what I wanted. That was exactly the opposite. As I closed the door, I heard her sob. My heart broke. What had I done? I was such a jerk…

**Jade's POV:**

I had suffered a lot between last night and today, but nothing was comparable to the pain I felt while having this discussion with Beck. What I didn't understand was that he really seemed to feel bad, he looked worried and heartbroken. But I had seen it with my own eyes. The almost-kiss. And it had killed me inside. But seeing him like that did too, no actor could be that good, I felt his sincerity. Yet, I couldn't forgive him, he had seriously messed me up. And me being still in love with him didn't arrange anything.

Those feelings were so overwhelming. I wanted to stop being me for a while just to be able to figure it out before I faced him. Or just hate him. If only I could hate him, everything would be so much easier. Because I had stayed strong enough not to cry until he was gone, but I didn't think I would be able to do it again. Since when was Jade West so weak? I could blame it on what had happened to me, but I knew better. I was more destroyed emotionally than physically. What a mess; make it stop please…

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**Sorry for the short chapter guys :/ I love it that we are in the middle of confusion and all...please read and review! I will try to post another chapter really soon.**

**R&R :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello people! as usual thank you for the reviews, you are really great! I am here with a new chapter, and with news :D Good ones and bad ones, thought.**

**The bad ones: This chapter is short; I wanted to write a girls conversation, and you will have to wait a bit before the confrontation between Beck and Jade.**

**The good ones: The next chapter is ready! :D you just have to tell me if you want it and I will post it right now ^^**

**Enjoy :D**

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**Chapter nine: So confusing.**

**Jade's POV:**

I had stayed alone for a while, sobbing. Beck had probably told the others to let me rest, and I was thankful for that. I was also surprised to see they had all came to see me, and were so glad I was okay. I wasn't that nice to them, but turns out they care. I hate it when people care, because when I did I only got hurt. And not the good type of hurt.

After a while, the door opened. It was Cat and Tori Not-so-awful Vega. When they saw I was awake, they smiled widely at me and came closer. Cat's smile became a frown when she reached me.

"Jade? You were crying?" She asked, pouting.

"N-no." I answered uncertainly.

"But your eyes are red and puffy. Ahaha puffy, that's a funny word." I smiled, Cat lived in her own world, but she was a great friend. Tori was smiling too, but then we looked at each other and she became serious.

"Jade, you were crying." She stated.

"Yeah, whatever." I answered then turned back to my sleeping position.

"Jaade!" Cat said in her baby tone.

"What?" I snapped, turning again. But I had moved too quickly and felt a new shot of pain in my side. I couldn't hold a whimper.

"Jade! Are you okay?" Tori asked in a worried tone.

"Do I look okay?" I said in my habitual sarcastic way. She looked disappointed and I felt bad for her. I was harsh towards her, I sometimes regretted it. "I'm sorry, Tori."

"It's okay." She smiled at me. "So what's bothering you?" She asked, and we were back to the subject I absolutely wanted to avoid talking about.

"It's nothing." I said, hoping she would drop it.

"Nothing doesn't make Jade West cry." Unexpectedly, Cat had said that.

"Yeah, and you can tell us." Tori continued. I could, I wanted to even, maybe something she, who Beck had tried to kiss, said would explain everything. So a refrained a bunch of sarcastic responses and tried to be nice.

"It's Beck." I sighed.

"What about him?" Tori asked.

"He is so confusing." I said, more to myself than to the girls.

"One time, my brother said he was confused, but that was about why people liked wearing-"

"Caat." Tori cut her; I was glad she did that because when Cat started one of her stories about her brother it could take her sometime to stop..

"Oh, it doesn't matter, so what about Beck?" She said, turning to me.

"I know he tried to kiss you." I said, looking at Tori, and heard Cat gasp.

**Tori's POV:**

"I-I am sorry, I didn't-" I started, but was cut off by Jade.

"I know what you did, Tori." How could she know what happened? We had been alone in my house when it did. Jade then explained, as if she had read my thoughts. "Cat's laptop, it was still open and the camera was on. So I saw everything."

"Oh." I said, she was going to hate me.

"I don't hate you; actually, thanks for what you did." She said, seeming depressed.

"Becky is a bad boy. I want to hit him." Cat said pouting. The girl liked everyone, she only wanted to hit people when they were really mean, like when she saw me kissing her boyfriend, my ex.

"I am sorry for that Jade I never meant it to happen. But you know, he really still loves you. He-"

"Tori, you don't have to defend him." She said, still sounding sad.

"I am not. It's the truth. While you were unconscious he looked like he might turn crazy any moment." She seemed to think about it.

"Do you love him?" Cat said. She had been unusually serious. "Because I know he does, and you guys should get back together already. You are like pizza and cheese." She said and then started laughing "Ahahah I like pizza." I couldn't picture what made them like pizza and cheese, but Cat was not wrong, they both loved each other. Even after their break up, I couldn't imagine them apart.

"She is right you know." I told Jade, she scoffed.

"He likes YOU, Vega." She answered, obviously not liking the idea. I didn't either. No matter what everyone thought, Beck was like a brother to me. As for the kiss, he had needed a rebound and I didn't want to be one. I had noticed how down he had been. And he loves Jade. He had to solve that, to get her back. "No he doesn't, you know it! Come on." I said in an angry tone, I hadn't meant it to be harsh.

"Just forget about it, Vega!" She snapped back then winced in pain. "Ouch." She was holding her side again, it must've been hurting her a lot because her face just turned green.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Cat said, seeming worried.

"Yeah, I just like to say ouch sometimes!" She said with her sarcastic tone. "I want coffee." she continued unexpectedly.

"The doctor says you can't eat anything." I answered, ready for the storm.

"Oooh! Tha doctor said you ain't have coffee!" She imitated me with that 80's actress's voice. I didn't talk like that, right? "Why not? I didn't have coffee for like a WHOLE DAY." She continued. "I want coffee, now, Beck would-" She stopped and stared at us.

At this moment, the boys minus Beck came in, and everyone started asking Jade about how she was feeling, so our discussion was forgotten.

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**Told you it was short, sorry :/ Anyway, I just need your review so I can post the next one. It is called "reaction" ;) Please review :D see you soon**

**R&R**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey there! Yup, it's an update :D thanks for the reviews and as usual I hope you like my chapter and you continue reading my story, it really means a lot to me. :D**

**Enjoy and don't forget to review! ^^**

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**Chapter ten: Reaction.**

**Beck's POV:**

When I got back home, I didn't even bother to talk to my parents. I just went to the bathroom and into the shower. The hot water felt good, pouring down on my body. At least it was hiding the truth, and my tears. It wasn't supposed to be like that. I couldn't deal with the fact of being the one making my love suffer.I would rather die than have her hating me, the thought on itself was unbearable. It's funny to think of how I was the calm one when we were together and she was the burning fire. But now that we're not, I feel like I can't control anything, let alone my emotions. It's like it was all slipping away from my hands. All the words in this world wouldn't explain the way I felt. It was just horrible.

I got out of the shower fresh, clean and with a fix idea: I had to get Jade back by any means. She was the balance in my life. Besides, I couldn't stay far from her anyway; I feared that something happened again especially since she was going to have a radio any moment now. So as soon as I finished my shower, I took something to eat on the go and headed straight to the hospital. I was going to talk Jade. I had to make it up to her.

**Jade's POV:**

I hadn't eaten a single thing for the whole day, and now the sun was almost setting down. Well they had given me soup; it was the only thing I could have to feed me, apparently. So saying that I was hungry was the understatement of the year. I was starving. They could have at least brought me some coffee, Beck would have… Why do I always have to think about him? I wanted to stop myself from doing so but I couldn't. He hadn't come back since our discussion of the morning, and I didn't want him to.

"So, how are you feeling Miss West, ready for your radio?" The doctor got me out of my thoughts.

"I am ok, I guess. But if you don't give me something to eat I might just stab you with my scissors." I replied. The doctor looked surprised by my tone, he was going to get used to it eventually, he didn't comment.

"I am sorry but we can't." he said, shaking his head.

"Can I at least have some coffee?" I said in a nicer tone.

"No, the caffeine would keep you awake. And we don't want that. You should get some sleep."

"No, I have been here the whole day. Can't I move a bit from this bed?" I asked.

"No, of course not! " He replied sounding indigned. "You would just collapse. I think you're not understanding the gravity of your case."

"Of course I am!" I started shouting. "But I don't want to stay here. I am done with that stuff!" I said, pointing to the machines that were clinging to my body. I was about to continue shouting when the door opened, it was Beck.

"Hey, what's going on here?" He asked, looking between the doctor and me.

"This stupid doctor doesn't want to let me out!" I shouted. But then I felt this sharp pain in my side again. Beck and the doctor hurried by my side.

"I am ok! Don't act all worried!" I shouted back still holding my side. But then I had a weird feeling in my stomach. "I think I am gonna puke." I said just before turning and doing so. Beck held my hair, he looked freaked out. I wondered what I was throwing up, my stomach had been completely empty. But I just kept throwing up. My insides were burning.

"What's happening to me?" I said to the doctor who had been silent.

"I-I think you reacted badly to the painkiller I gave you." He said, losing his calm tone for the first time.

"You think?!" I said as my body started shaking.

"Call the nurses! We need to take her to the emergency room now!" The doctor told Beck in an alarmed voice. He started running and I was choking out, trembling and sweating until everything went blank once again.

**Beck's POV:**

I was pacing around, fidgeting, worrying like crazy. She had been in this damn emergency room for two hours now. Was this doctor stupid? How could he let that happen? The nurse had explained that she needed a lavage d'estomac. And that the doctor couldn't have predicted this reaction. But I was so angry at him for letting it happen; I didn't care if it was his mistake or not. I just needed to get my anger out. And my friends experienced an angry Beck for the first time.

"What the hell is it with this doctor?" I was shouting at no one in particular.

"Hey Beck, calm down. He couldn't have predicted it. I am sure Jade will be fine." Tori tried to reassure me.

"No! He could have done something! He should have read her medical records. Is he stupid?" Nothing she said would calm me down. Only seeing Jade could do that.

At that moment the doctor got out, he was looking tired and relieved.

"You'd better tell me she is okay!" I said angrily.

"Beck…shhh" Robbie told me touching my shoulder.

"What? Don't shush me! It's all because of him!" I replied.

"I understand that you are worried, young man. But this is not something I could have foreseen. And your friend is going to be fine. Don't worry. She will just need some more time to recover. You will be able to see her in a very short time, as soon as she is transferred back to her room." As he said this, I felt bad for losing my temper and blaming him.

"I-I am sorry "for what I said." I apologized, looking down to my feet.

"It's okay, I am used to this." He said sympathetically. I just nodded.

After a while, a nurse told us that Jade was awake and in her room, so we could all go and see her. I hurried to be by her side. When I opened the room and saw her, I felt more relieved than I had for what seemed to be years. The scene seemed to repeat itself as they were all showing her how glad they were that she was fine. I had stayed behind, only observing. She was clearly making a great effort to stay awake and talk to them. Since it was late in the night anyway, I decided to tell the others to let her sleep.

"Hey guys, I think Jade needs some rest. We can all talk to her tomorrow." I told them.

"Someone has to stay with her." Cat said. "I will do it! Yaay pyjama party!" She started laughing.

"No Cat, I will stay with her." I replied in a serious tone.

"But please, Beck!" She pouted. But I wasn't going to fall for it.

"I am staying." I said in the same tone.

"Phoey..." The little Cat said looking down, I felt bad for her, but I had to be the one staying by Jade's side. I just had to. The others didn't complain, they left one after the other after telling her their goodbyes. André was last, as soon as he closed the door she turned her back to me.

"Jade, don't sleep yet, we need to talk." I said slowly, I had to make it right. This was my chance to prove myself. After feeling like losing her again I didn't want to let any second pass without having at least tried to apologize.

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**Prepare for the fight! Hahaha. No seriously, "The fight" is the name of the next chapter.**

**Hope you liked that, please review ^^**

**R&R**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey there people! I am so so so sorry for the long wait, I have been busy for the start of my school year, and I had no internet for daaays. Anyway, here is a new chapter. I really look forward to your reviews on this one. Please tell me what you think.**

**Enjoy :D**

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**Chapter eleven: the fight.**

**Jade's POV:**

"We need to talk." Beck said. When we had been together, it had ended up by a fight every time he had said that. I really didn't want that right now. I was not in the mood for it. I was too tired and too sick of all the drama.

"I don't want to." I answered, not facing him and not giving him any explanation.

"Jade, I want to apologize, please just listen to what I have to say." He said calmly.

"No! I know what you are going to say Beck. I don't want to hear it." I was still in love with him, but I didn't want to suffer anymore, better end it now. It shouldn't have started in the first place. But I had been weak then, I had been betrayed by people before and I had built walls to protect me but he had been able to crash them all…Now I am not, I have learned from my very mistakes. I was never going to repeat them. I felt his hand on mine, he grabbed me by the wrists and very slowly made me sit down.

"Jade, please, just listen to me. I won't bother you after that. It's a promise." I sighed when I saw the determination in his face. I knew that look very well. He wasn't going to give up until I heard it all.

"Ok, go on." I said lazily. I felt tired; he could have waited at least until the morning.

"Look, Jade. I understood many things after what happened to you. I was going to lose it when you were unconscious. I have never been that messed up in my life. I wasn't able to control anything and I felt like losing you. I would have killed myself if that had happened. I also understood that I was a jerk to you all along. You being jealous was actually a mean for you to show me that you loved me, I was flirty and I thought I was just nice. I know it really hurt you now. And for the kiss with Tori, I know you won't forgive me but I swear Jade, I had just been confused and so down… I don't love Tori. I only like her as a sister, and I love only you. I know you don't want to forgive me. Because I betrayed you even thought you had told me the reason you don't trust people and let them get close to you. I have made you suffer and it is killing me. Please, just try to give me another chance. I won't let you down anymore." I had stayed silent, listening to his speech, and he had really seemed sincere. But now I was going to explode. It had only made me angrier, for the simple reason that I knew it all. It was so predictable.

" I hope you don't think that your little speech is going to make it all okay. As you said, you hurt me Beck, you of all people! You who knew what I had been through and why I acted like I did! Then you started acting this way. And now I am so confused! Because you know I love you, but you played me, you just took my heart and ripped it, then you felt like it wasn't enough so you tried to kiss Tori. You can say whatever you want but you KNEW how that would hurt me!" I was shouting now, my breathing getting quicker. I was finally letting it all out. " But you did it anyway. You thought I wouldn't know so when you would want Jade back again, you would just turn up, tell her you love her and she would come back running to you like the little pet she is for you. I can't even hate you Beck Oliver! That's what is worst! I want to, so bad, but I still lo-" I was cut by his lips crashing with mine. A wave of relief washed over me. This felt so good and so true, so real and so full of passion. It wouldn't have been possible for him to be acting at this moment. H e couldn't be that good, no one could. I couldn't hold my tears anymore.

Beck's POV:

I had kissed her. I had finally done it. I had wanted to ever since our break up. She still loved me, she had said so. But she was so angry at me, and not the anger people know when it comes to Jade, the real anger. I absolutely deserved this and I would accept whatever she did if it meant we would end up together.

As soon as my lips had touched hers, she had broken down and started crying. But she had responded to it. It was so relieving. It felt like everything was in its right place again. We had stopped kissing only because of the need to breath. Then I took her face in both my hands. I had never seen someone so beautiful, so hurt physically and emotionally, so sad, whose eyes sparkled so much. She didn't bother to try and stop crying, she must have known she wouldn't be able to anyway. So I just hugged her. She rested her head against my chest and cried, cried, cried, her whole body was shaking and moving heavily while I was holding her and stroking her hair. She continued sobbing until she fell asleep. I kissed her forehead and stayed there, not moving by an inch so I wouldn't wake her up. God, why did I have to be so stupid and to make her suffer that much. I had a lot to do to make it right. And I was determined to make her the happiest person alive. Never would Jade West have to suffer again, because of me or anyone else. But I hoped when she woke up she would have forgiven me…that was almost impossible.

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**Finally. So? here it is. Now please tell me what you think. :D**

**R&R**


	12. Chapter 12

**You guys are AMAZING. I can't believe I have over 80 reviews! It's really relieving to see them after a day of maths and physics believe me. Unfortunatly, the rate of chapter-publishing will slow down a bit since I have my lessons but I will try my best to update at least once a week. **

**Now, after he last chapter we can go on with the story progression. I hope you will like this one, and as usual please review :D**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter twelve: Work for it.**

**Jade's POV:**

I woke up with a feeling of warmth and comfort I hadn't felt for a long time. I wanted it to last forever. The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Beck's t-shirt. It took me a while to understand what I was doing, leaning on him like when we were together... Then I remembered the events of the night before. I saw his peaceful face as he was sleeping. he was really gorgeous, and I had missed him a lot. Beck, he was such a confusing person. I truly loved him, and so did he, apparently. But I couldn't just forgive him. We weren't in some fairytale where he could just say he was sorry then everything would be alright. No matter what Cat would say But then again she lived in her own world. He had put me through a lot, and I wasn't ready to go for it once again just now. I was too afraid of being hurt again. Yes, Jade west was afraid of something. This was my biggest fear. Being abandoned by the people I loved the most. And this had happened too many times, more than I could bear.

I tried not to move, wanting to feel this moment, at least until he woke up. So I just closed my eyes and got lost in my thoughts, remembering my moments with Beck. When we had been together, I would always rest on his chest and we would just stay like that for hours. I had forgotten how good it felt. I had missed him so much.

After some time, I felt him stir and I quickly got away from him, too quickly in fact. I had forgotten I had some broken bones and it hurt.

"Ouch!" I said before holding my side, it had come out of my mind before I coud stop it. I saw Beck's eyes as they fluttered and looked for me in such a big fear.

"Jade! Are you Okay, where does it hurt? DO you want me to call the doctor?" He said in one breath. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. He was so worried for me…

"What is it?" He asked, still on alert.

"Don't worry that much. I can take care of myself." I said, my usual me resurfacing after all this drama.

"But you seemed in pain." He said clueless.

"I just moved too quickly, it's okay now." I replied. The frown on his face instantly disappeared. We stayed silent for a minute, only looking at each other in the eyes.

"So…are we back together?" He asked awkwardly and hopefully.

I struggled not to say yes, no girl would have hesitated for a fraction of a second if Beck Oliver had asked them out. But I really had had enough of suffering for now, maybe after, when I would feel right in my mind, probably, if he would still want me. Now I was still too messed up "No.." I answered, not daring to look at him.

**Beck's POV:**

I had been so sure she would have forgiven me, but then she had said it "No." a plain and simple no. The worst thing was that as much as needed us to be back together, I couldn't blame her, no, we were in this mess because of me. I wasn't going to abandon anyway.

"You said you still loved me." I asked, hoping it would make her think about it.

"I know. I do." She replied, looking at me straight in the eyes, her gaze was burning me, making me feel so bad that she still wasn't mine. "But we can't get back together right now. I-I want to have some rest Beck, I want to feel good with myself, and I want to know you won't betray me again."

"Of course I won't, I have learned my lesson. I will make it up to you, just-"

"Beck…" She cut me, she was obviously not going to be easy to convince, and I didn't want to push her.

"Are we at least friends now?" I asked, she had to at least accept that, the rest would come after. "I can wait."

"Yes we are, thank you." She said with one of her rare true smiles. It made her so wonderfully beautiful.

"Hug?" I said, reaching for her.

"Beck! You know I hate any sign of affection."She said, but she was still smiling, so I hugged her anyway and we both started laughing. Wow, laughing. It seemed like we hadn't had this chance for longer than I could remember.

"I am going to make this right this time." I said when we had parted. She looked at me, and we stayed in an awkward silence. She seemed to think about something, but before she could say anything, the door flung open and someone came running towards her, it was her mother quickly followed by her father and her little brother.

"Jade! What happened to you? Are you okay? Why didn't you call me? Oh, my baby…" She said, hugging her daughter.

"Ugh, don't hug me like that. I am okay." As she said that, I knew Jade was back, the real Jade, the strong Jade. The one who never showed any sign of affection, but secretly liked it when given to her. It made me feel so happy, so alive. That was Jade's power over me.

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**Ok, so I hope this chapter has made things clear: they're not back together yet...Beck still has some work to be done for that ;) I hope you liked it and I know it's short so I am sorry. Anyway, see you soon!**

**R&R**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey there awesome people! Here is a new chapter, thought not much happens in this one, it is necessary for the story progression. The next will be better, it's a promise. But for now please read this one and review :)**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter twelve: Reunion.**

**Jade's POV:**

Parents were here, great… I was going to have a good dose of questions. When? Why? Where? Why didn't you tell us? And I was going to have to answer them all. But to say the truth I was glad to see that my mother had been so worried. My father had stayed back but his look said it all, he was worried too. As for my little brother, he looked everywhere for stitches because that would make his sister "even cooler than she is! Wow, that would be great!" but eventually, he abandoned when he saw that there wasn't any. I would have liked stitches too they actually are cool. But all I had now were blue spots all over my body; those were disgusting and not so cool.

I had spent my afternoon with my parents. Beck had left us alone for a family reunion as he had said; he had been too kind since our last discussion, it was weird. I kept wondering what he was trying to do, since it wasn't exactly like him.

I had answered every single one of their questions, not even complaining; which was so unlike me. But I was just so happy to know that my family was so united when one of her members was not exactly good that I didn't even care. After a while they had to go to the reception since they had to sign some papers, and so I stayed alone for only a little time.

The gang came after school and so my parents decided to leave me with my friends. André had brought his guitar and we spent our afternoon playing music and singing, that was really fun and it made a great change from all the drama I had been through so far. But something was missing, someone actually.

It was almost unbelievable how every time I thought about him he would appear, like it was made up or something. Yet, as soon as I had wondered why Beck wasn't with us, the door had opened and he had entered the room with something in his hand, something I craved, I wanted more than any other…Coffee.

"Beck, I hope the coffee is for me; because if you are just taunting me with it I am going to stab you with my scissors as soon as I get out of the hospital." I said in a serious voice, and everyone started laughing. "What are you laughing at?" I said, frowning. Then my stomach growled which made them laugh even more. I couldn't help myself and joined them.

"It's for you actually." Beck said with a smile that meant 'I know how to make you happy.' If I could, I would have jumped and took it from him right at the moment. "I talked to the doctor and convinced him to let you have some, but just a bit.

"Give it to me right now!" I said with a commanding voice.

"Coming, coming, don't bite." He answered, a smile still lingering on his face.

As soon as he gave me the coffee I gulped it. It felt so good going down my throat. I just love coffee. Like the real love. I could live with only coffee for my whole life, well almost...

"So, magic word?" Beck said, crossing his arms and waiting for an answer.

"Yeah, thanks whatever." I said then drank more coffee.

"I guess old Jade is back." André said, but he didn't seem disappointed by that.

"Deal with it." I said sarcastically. Yes, I was back.

**André's POV:**

If you just let aside the fact that we were in a hospital, you would think that everything was back to normal. Cat was crazy as ever, she kept laughing and turning around happily. Robbie had brought back his puppet, to everyone's dislike. Tori was there too shining as usual, and Jade was mean again, which meant she was normal again. You would almost think Beck and her were back together, seeing the way the two interacted. I looked at him, his hand was on Jade's shoulder, and he wasn't dead yet...Maybe I was right.

"So you guys are back together?" I asked, wanting to make sure of my guess. Beck quickly dropped his hand from Jade's shoulder. They looked at each other for a moment, then at me, then both answered at the same time."No we're not!" and looked at each other again.

"But we are friends." Beck continued.

"Oooh, phoey. You should get back together already." Cat said pouting.

"Let them be, li'l red." I said, patting her in the head but I was thinking the same thing, everyone knew that they both still loved each other. You could tell by their looks for each other, by how Beck had turned mad when he saw that jerk trying to hurt Jade, by how she had looked at him when she first woke up, everything. They were just meant to be. Why they hadn't realised it yet was beyond me.

"Hey, when are you going to be released from here?" Tori asked, trying to change the subject.

"I don't know; I forgot to ask." Jade answered. "But I don't think it will be soon, I still can't get up, those ribs don't heal fast enough." She continued, looking disappointed.

"A week, I asked." Beck then said.

"Really?" Jade continued, looking even more disappointed. "I hate hospitals."

" I know, but we are going to keep you company so you won't feel lonely." See, he obviously still cared.

"Whatever." Jade answered, trying to stop a smile from forming in her mouth. "I miss Hollywood Arts."

"I will give you the lessons." Tori said trying to be useful.

"I don't miss the lessons!" Jade snapped back. Yep, old Jade was definitely back. Tori just shrugged.

"Sorry." Jade said, taking us all by surprise. "What?" She continued when we looked at her in awe. "I am actually trying to be nice to Vega." Everybody was taken aback by that. I didn't think the Jade next to me was the old one anymore, this was an improved version.

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**See, nothing much happened but don't worry, I think you will love the idea I have for the rest, because this is a drama, therefore, something bad needs to happen ;)**

**Next chapter is called "nightmares aren't so bad" I hope you will look forward to it, and don't forget to review please :D**

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	14. Chapter 14

**Hello people! Sorry for the ong wait, but I have to work for school...not fun. Anyway, thanks one more time for the reviews and I hope you like my new chapter. :D**

**Please Enjoy!**

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**Chapter Thirteen: Nightmares aren't so bad.**

**Jade's POV:**

I was going to spend tonight alone, I had had a lot of trouble sending them all home and assuring them that I would be fine by my own. Well the big trouble had been Beck. I had just had to threaten the others and they were all willing to go (no one liked the idea of their hair being cut in their sleep…or worse.), but Beck had never been afraid of me, my scissors or any other weapon I had, he was stronger than me and he was the only one who had ever been able to calm me down. He seemed disappointed that I wouldn't let him stay, but I wanted him to get some rest, he looked awfully tired. And so I found a weak point: It seemed he didn't want me upset since I was still sick. Or was that his plan to get closer to me? Even thought we had both agreed that we were only friends, I couldn't deny this sensation I felt whenever he was near me, or the safety I resented when he touched me…I longed for him and I missed him but I didn't want us to get back together yet. I had some work to do on myself and by myself before that would be possible. And only then we could start again.

For once, I didn't like being alone, first of all because we were in a hospital. I know I said that a lot of times but I hate hospital, and it was also because of something else, something I would never admit to anyone but Beck, because only he knew who I really was…and right now I was afraid. Afraid of this haunting face I saw every time I closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep, I kept seeing him trying to hit me, or to grab me by my hair and no matter how much I kept telling to myself that he wasn't there anymore, that the two jerks were probably in prison, that it was all in my head, because of my imagination and the new memories. I couldn't stop my heart from beating too fast, my breathing from getting harder, the sweat from forming in my face and my eyes from fluttering open…Last night I had had no trouble sleeping in Beck's arms.

**Beck's POV:**

I was on my RV, thinking about no other than Jade, she would be released in a week. Which meant next Saturday, and I was planning on taking her on the best date she had ever been in. I hadn't decided on where to take her yet but I was going to make it perfect; in fact I was going to try to make her life perfect. I was going to be worth her. She had been right, if we didn't want our relationship to be full of fighting again, we needed to find harmony; she was working on that; she had even apologized to Tori today. My Jade (me calling her mine stays between us please.) was already wonderful, but if she was to be herself with people, they would all see how perfect she actually is. As for me, I had understood how much of a jerk I had been, and I just had to show her the change now.

As I started drifting to sleep, I heard my phone ring. I got up and checked the callers ID, Jade…A wave of apprehension rushed through me, I knew it! I shouldn't have left her alone! What if she was in trouble? What if something was hurting her? I would not forgive myself of something happened to her again.

"Jade, tell me you are okay please!" I said as soon as I answered her.

"I am fine, don't worry." Only after hearing her tired voice my heart beat had returned to normal.

"You scared the crap out of me Jade, I swear." I told her honestly.

"I didn't know Beck Oliver was that quickly scared." She said, I don't know why but she seemed weird, as if she was trying to be her sarcastic usual self but couldn't.

"So, what is it Jade?" I asked her, wondering why she wasn't asleep yet and what was the reason for this late call; not that it bothered me.

"We are friends, right?" She said uncertainly.

"Of course we are." I answered quickly, clueless to where this was leading us and secretly hoping we were more than friends.

"I-I.." she sighed "Just forget about it, sorry for bothering you…good night."

"No, don't hang up. You're not bothering me. Just tell me Jade, it's okay, whatever it is." I said starting to get nervous.

"No, it's okay it's nothing. You would better sleep." She said, but her voice felt like cracking.

"Jade, I couldn't sleep even if wanted to when I can feel that you are not good." I answered sincerely.

"I am having nightmares." She replied. Normally, Jade liked having nightmares. She used to tell me every detail of them and to brag about how cool her imagination was. "I can't sleep; I keep seeing their faces every time I close my eyes…" She said, I could almost sense the guilt in her voice. It wasn't normal for her to even feel that way, so I guess she must have thought a lot before telling me, it must have been hard to admit she was afraid. But to say the truth, I was glad that she had called me this time, not André…That meant we were back in the right track. I felt relieved to be the one she could trust again, even if it was nowhere near how she trusted me before.

"I am coming right now." I said, already looking for my keys.

"No!" She quickly answered. "I don't want you to."

"Why not?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"You've done way too much already, you should rest…I just needed to hear your voice." She said. Jade had always been protective of me, it killed me to know I didn't seem to care all this time, back when we were together, even thought I did care.

"No, I will be able to rest only when you feel good." I said and could hear her release a breath of relief. "That's what friends are made for." I continued, still hoping that "friends" part would quickly change back to "boyfriends".

"Thank you Beck." She said.

"No problem, I am on my way." I said, grabbing my keys and heading towards my car. I couldn't help but to think that nightmares weren't so bad after all…

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**So? How is it? I look forward to your reviews, so please do review? ^^ And see you for th next chapter. :D**

**R&R**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone who is still reading my story! Just so you know, I love you guys! :D And here is a new chapter ^^ **

**Many of you requested that something bad happens to Jade in the hospital so there is more drama, don't worry, there will be a lot of it. I still have ideas for that. I just hope you will like them, but I am obviously not telling you, that would be no fun ;)**

**Anyway, read and enjoy please!**

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**Chapter fourteen: What do you mean not really?**

**Jade's POV:**

Even thought I had really wanted Beck to get a much needed night of sleep, I was glad he had insisted on coming and staying with me. I didn't think I was going to be able to spend that night alone, or I wouldn't sleep at all…I was really freaked out by those nightmares. For they felt so real, and they had already happened. I knew that tiredness would eventually take the best of me, but to say the truth, having a long night of reflection concerning my current situation wasn't the greatest idea. It was only going to confuse me even more than I was already. This "clearing your mind" thing didn't work right now. The "incident" had changed me. I had discovered a lot because of, or I can even say thanks, to it…I had discovered that I had caring friends, not that I didn't know that, how could they not like me? And I had also discovered that I could try to be me with them, to somehow change...at least at a certain extent. Of course I wasn't going to care too much, well for normal people it would seem like I was still mean. But I would try to improve myself as much as possible. Jade West was weak and insecure; I was finally able to admit that. But she wasn't the kind of weak people thought about, she was tough in the outside but afraid in the inside. So afraid that she couldn't enjoy being with others without fearing that they would betray her. But now I knew that I could survive betrayal, it only made me stronger. So that's what I was going to do from now on. I was going to live my life at one hundred per cent and I was not going to be afraid anymore…well if you didn't count those nightmares I was having only tonight.

"Hey, Jade." Beck said, he was sitting on a chair at the end of the room. I had probably been so engulfed in my own thoughts that I hadn't even heard him come in. I stared at him for some more seconds, still unfocused.

"Wow, you looked really deep in thought. Is something bothering you?" Beck asked with concern in his normally calm voice.

"No, not at all." I answered truthfully. But it didn't seem like he trusted me. I wasn't bothered, I was in the middle of a huge transformation and it was also thanks and because of him. But I wasn't going to let him know that yet, I hadn't fully forgiven him and he had taught me what betrayal felt like just when I had started to forget about that. I still didn't know if it was a good thing or not.

"So what is it? Why were you frowning?" He asked again.

"I was just thinking about all of this." I said, it summarized the situation, didn't it?

"And?" He said. I think he was expecting some kind of philosophical conclusion or something...well I didn't do philosophy.

"And nothing, Beck. I was just thinking." I didn't like it that he was always trying to push me, even when we had been together. Sometimes it was good, but sometimes only. Maybe that was his way of being protective for once?

"I am sorry Jade, I didn't mean to force you to tell me." He apologized as if he just read my thoughts.

"It's okay, and thank you for coming, that's really nice." I said trying to change the subject. Not that I wanted to talk about my aggressors but it was harder to talk about it than it was to talk about the ideas running in my oh so twisted mind.

"So, about the nightmares…" he started, my plan had worked. "What is it exactly?" he used to ask me about the nightmares exactly like that back then, with an apprehensiveness in his voice, but it had been because he was reluctant to hear the rears of my wrecked imagination. Now I guessed it was because he actually wanted to know them. His gaze was burning me, it was forcing me to pour my soul to him, to tell him everything like it had done so many times before.

I should stop comparing everything to the past. If I wanted this to be a fresh start I had to let go of the past. Well it was easier to say than to do.

"I just keep seeing them every time I close my eyes, it's like I am reviving the scene again and again, I can almost feel the pain when they were kicking me…I-I am really scared" I said, deciding to be as close to the truth as I could with him, he was my friend now after all. Besides, I couldn't help myself..his eyes were mesmerizing . I looked at him and saw fear all over his features, I saw remorse too, as if he felt like it was his mistake, and I really wondered why he would feel that way. So I decided to continue and try to make him feel better.

"it's not even logical, I know it's not real and it's all in my head so I shouldn't be worried. The police probably caught them and they are in prison, right?" I said looking at him, but his expression wasn't the one I had been waiting for, he wasn't confirming my words, he wasn't reassuring me. "They are in prison, right?" I said again, feeling my heartbeat get faster, please tell me they are in prison, I was thinking.

"Well, not exactly.." He said uncertainly, reluctantly, and in such a way I felt my heart stop.

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**So? does that give you a hint on what's gonna happen? :D more drama to come! Please don't forget to review! ^^**

**R&R**


	16. Chapter 16

**Heeey! I am back with a new chapter! and this one is big deal, I really don't know if you will like it but I hope you do! :D So please, ake your time and read, and don't forget to review! :)**

**enjoy: :D**

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**Chapter fifteen: What to do?**

**Beck's POV:**

I hadn't wanted her to know one of the two jerks hadn't been caught, I had tried to hide it as long as possible, I thought it was the best thing to do, at least until she was completely healed. But now that she was asking, I couldn't lie to her. Yet, her face when I told her about it made me regret every single word I had said. It had been the most unexpected one, the most heartbreaking one for me: she had lost the little color that had been in her and a strangled gasp had left her throat. She was now livid, really scared, mortified, and that killed me. I knew they hurt her, I had seen it with my own eyes…but this was just too much to bear, this need to kill the man resurfaced inside me. I wanted to make him feel the pain like he did to her. Her face held an expression of utter fear: they had broken her. I wanted to do the same to them, I wanted it so bad…

"Beck, what do you mean not exactly?" She breathed, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I- one of them escaped. The other is in jail but he wouldn't tell the police his friend's name. And I don't think me or André can recognize him…So there is no way to find him, unless you give a description." I said reluctantly, her deep blue eyes forcing me to spill everything out. I wondered what her reaction would be, fearing the upcoming pounding in my heart when I would look at her…and eventually, my heart did skip a bit and felt like blurting out of my chair when I saw her pretty face filled with fear.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hide that? I could've helped! I can't forget his face, didn't I tell you how my nightmares were filled by him? I could've told them exactly how he looks, but now he must be miles away…or even hiding right under our nose for all we know!" I knew all her theories were guided by the fear she must have felt all this time. Only the two men being in jail would let her breath. I totally understood that. And I hadn't wanted her to know even if I had a good idea about how she would hate me when she would do…but I had never expected this.

"I only wanted to protect you, you were so weak and hurt …" I started, but she cut me.

"Oh please, that's no good excuse! Who has told you I needed protection? He is out there now, oh God! And we can do nothing about it, we have no idea where they are, oh my God!" She said in one breath. Jade was now hyperventilating, her breathing getting quick and her face twisting in fear. I had never seen her so afraid, never even imagined she could get to that state. It only made me feel guiltier; I had not been there to protect her when I should have. It was all because of me. And now I was here, feeling helpless and awfully bad, I just tried to calm her down, which was the only thing I could do.

"Hey, Jade, calm down, I'm here now, there is nothing to fear!" I said with my most calm and reassuring voice, she looked at me in the eyes, fear still all over her face.

"Yes there is, look what they did to me!" She started, still not calming down. She was completely freaked out. What had I done?

I hadn't noticed that I had came closer to her, so I sat in her bed, took both her hands in mine, and forced her to look at me. She instantly calmed down, but her breathing was still heavy from the efforts she had done, she probably hurt too, but she wouldn't admit that.

"Shhh, it's okay Jade, I swear it is. I would die rather than let anything happen to you, I promise. No one will hurt you anymore. I'll be here to protect you." She held my gaze for a moment, not saying anything, and then she looked down. At least she was calm now. But I didn't know what was running through her mind, I didn't know if she even trusted me. I released her hands to grab her by the shoulders. She looked at me again.

"I hate you Beck, you're a jerk, and you're a liar." She said, her voice the opposite of what it was only a few minutes ago: deep and calm, almost dead. Her words tore me apart. She was right. She was perfectly right. I, the one who now told her how whoever tried to hurt her would have to kill me first, was the one who hurt her. I was a jerk, but a jerk who had understood how precious she was to him.

**Jade's POV:**

I wanted to trust him so bad. I wanted to have this reassuring feeling that he would always be here for me, protect me, that feeling of comfort…I did have it when we had been together, even thought he hadn't been what one could call demonstrative, I could feel that he cared when he held me in his arms, when he whispered "I love you" in my ears or when he kissed my forehead and I trusted him with no hesitation, I couldn't think of the possibility for him to leave me. But now, after the break up, I didn't know what to think anymore, everything was different. He had changed a lot over the last few days, he had been protective and caring and reassuring and everything. But no matter what, I couldn't forget how he had hurt me, what he had done.

I didn't even know why I had freaked out this much. Jade West normally didn't do scared, but then again Jade West wasn't in her normal state right now…Knowing one of my aggressors was out there, free…it's something you can't imagine.

Only looking into his warm brown eyes made me calm down and reconnect with reality. I was in the hospital, with cameras and protection, that jerk couldn't get to me even if he wanted to. And Beck had said he would protect me with his life…I didn't know if that was true or if he was lying again and would abandon me as soon as I get out of here.

"I hate you Beck, you're a jerk, and you're a liar." I could never hate him, he was a jerk, and he did lie to me. But I just couldn't.

"Jade, I know I hurt you, but you can't even imagine how much I have learned during these last days. I love you more than you can imagine. I know you hate cheesy, but everything I said is true. And I know you want to take it slow, I know you want to feel right before we can be "us" again, is you still want to of course…But I will wait for you as long as I have to. And don't worry, I'm not lying and I won't anymore. I am sorry for everything, but just trust me with this one, please. I have nothing to be proud of, I hurt you and trust me, I know it perfectly well and I regret it every day but I won't anymore." He had been looking right into my eyes all along his little speech, and I still wonder how in the world I didn't melt. I was totally burning, feeling so many opposite emotions at the same time…I wanted us to be together again, so bad. He didn't know how much I did. And he had said he would wait as long as he had to. He had said everything I had hoped he would say, what was I supposed to do now?

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**So? Should they get back together already? Or do you want me to leave that until she gets out of the hospital? as for the man, I think he will go after Jade again, just not now, let her rest a bit, right?**

**R&R**


	17. Chapter 17

**Yep, that's a new chapter :D I have to tell you I am soooo impatient for the upcoming episode! we're finally going to see how they will end back together; yes! But for now, here is my chapter, I hope you will like it!**

**Enjoy :)**

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**Chapter sixteen:**

**Beck's POV: **

I could feel her struggle internally, I could see the fight inside her, she was thinking about whether she could trust me or not, and she didn't seem to be able to make a decision. I just hoped she would come to the conclusion that she could trust me again. I was waiting impatiently for an occasion to prove myself to her, to do something and show her how I loved her. It didn't seem to come. But I would never push her. If we were back together again, I wanted it to be because she really wanted us to, not because I was pressuring her.

"Jade, it's late now, you should get some sleep. Don't worry, I'm going to stay here and look over you in case anything happens." I said in attempt to ease her and removed my hands from her shoulders. She seemed to be pulled out of her thoughts, she looked at me and I knew the look that was in her face perfectly well. Because that was the one Jade didn't give to anyone besides me. And that one meant she cared about me. She still loved me.

Surprisingly enough, Jade was one of the most caring people I had ever known, even if she might show her tough exterior, she did have strong feelings. She just wanted to be left alone but that was because she feared betrayal. I knew her more than anyone and I understood her even better than she understood herself. And even thought she would never admit it, she was afraid and insecure I wanted to help her get rid of those feelings, even more now that I was the one responsible for most of them.

The look her face held also showed tiredness. She needed rest. Those nightmares must have really been keeping her awake. I noticed her slowly nodding then turning her back to me.

"Good night Beck, thank you." She said, and after that, she didn't move. But I could tell she was just lying there, awake…Probably still confused. I didn't know if I should talk to her or leave her alone. What would I say anyway? I had no clue, but I sure wanted all this to stop. I was so tired of it , of having to support her not being mine, of having to see her suffering like that and not being able to do anything... I just wish I hadn't been a stupid jerk. Well it was too late. All I could do now was to try and make it right to her, hopefully she would want to take me back.

"Beck, I want it to stop." Jade said out of the blue, as if she had read my mind. Just as I thought she had fallen asleep. She had talked so slowly that I had wondered if it was only in my imagination.

"What do you mean? You want what to stop?" I said, not sure if it was her or if my mind was playing me.

"This. Being a mess, not being able to hate you, the lies, everything." She said, I didn't have any clue what to answer to this. Not a single idea what to tell her. I could apologize again, but I knew Jade. She wouldn't want it. It would be a waste of time only. So what?

"I-I don't know what to say Jade, I don't want you to be a mess either, trust me…" I said truthfully.

"I keep thinking maybe we could start again, then I remember the hurt and I think it's not such a good idea. But not being with you hurts too. I hate it. I hate being so over-dramatic, so pathetic. But no matter what I do, I still love you. See how messed up it is? How much contradiction there is here! I don't know what to do anymore."

"Jade, I don't know how to make you believe me, but I will never hurt you again. I would rather get smashed by a car, or hit by a train; because that would hurt less. Just give me another chance, the last one."

"I want to; trust me…but I, ugh! I hate it. Stupid Beck. Stupid feelings. I just want to go to sleep without having to think about how I'm going to face you!" She said, talking more to herself than to me. "And this hospital is driving me crazy! I just stay here all day long and I can do nothing but think. God knows how I really don't want to think about all of this right now."

Suddenly, a crazy idea ran through my mind. I had planned on taking her on a date just after she would get out of the hospital to try and make things good again, but I guessed I had to execute my plan sooner.

"Jade, would you get dressed and come with me? I want to take you somewhere." I said, unsure of what her reaction would be.

"What? Now? I don't even have the right to get out. We're in a hospital you know. I won't be released until next week." She answered, looking at me as if I had come from another planet.

"Just trust me on this one, please." I told her, or pleaded, that is.

"I don't even know if I can get up, the doctor said I shouldn't even try to do it." She said, still skeptical.

"Don't worry about that, I will take care of everything." I answered.

"You are crazy, Beck. Seriously." She answered shaking her head.

"You are the one saying that? I thought you liked adventure and risk…where is the Jade I used to know?" I said, I knew being provocative was the best mean for me to have Jade do something. She hated being weak, or not being able to do something.

"Alright, I'm coming with you, let's see how great that plan of yours is." She said, and a bright smile instantly appeared on my face. "But I warn you, if I get in any sort of trouble, I'm going to kill you with my own hands." She added threatening me. My smile grow bigger, I knew Jade wouldn't hurt me…At least I hoped so, but my plan was perfect, I was going to let her have the best date ever.

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**Here you go! please review and I'll try to update as soon as possible :D**

**R&R**


	18. Chapter 18

**I know I messed up really bad, I'm so so so so so sorry I haven't updated for so long. I had tons of exams but I know that's not a good excuse, please forgive me :(**

**Here is a new chapter, and I swear I won't mess up again, I'm so sorry! **

**Thank you for your reviews, it's actually seeing them that gave me the strength to continue, and thank you for still reading my story! :D**

**I'm not reallyproud of this chapter, but I hope you will like it, please enjoy! :)**

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**Chapter seventeen: The date.**

**Beck's POV:**

A date ! I had been thinking about it for a while now, but I had wanted it to be when she would get out of the hospital. Yet after seeing how staying in that awful place drove her crazy I couldn't resist. I wanted it to be perfect and even thought I knew it was already late, my idea of a picnic would still work. There was this little forest not that far from where we were, it was dark and scary…I realized it would be even better at night. She would love it!

"Do you think you can stand up?" I asked her gently.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully "I'm gonna try, and don't talk to me like I'm a child." She continued in a more Jade-like way.

I came closer to her in order to catch her if she fell. She slowly stood up, using the edge of the bed to help her up, and she instantly got paler and winced in pain. My idea didn't feel so great after seeing her suffering. I approached her and put a hand under her back to stabilize her.

"Are you sure you're okey?" I asked, already knowing the answer she would give.

"Yes, I'm fine." But she didn't seem so. So I held her up bridal style and headed towards the door, silently prying that there wouldn't be many people and that I would be able to get out before being noticed.

"What about getting dressed?" Jade said, not protesting about the fact that she was in my arms, which was a good sign. "I can't go out wearing this thing!" She continued, mentioning to her hospital clothes. "It's not even black!" Typical Jade.

"We don't have the time for that, please…no one will see us anyway." I said pleadingly.

She looked at me as if I was crazy and she sighed. "Whatever, still thinking you've gone mad." I couldn't help but to chuckle at that. And she smiled! For the first time in way too long, she smiled at me. I was so grateful.

When I opened the door, I felt relieved to see that the corridor was empty, at least for now. I walked as fast as I could with Jade in my arms, not that she was heavy, she had gotten even skinnier after her sojourn in the hospital. She was holding tight to me, it felt really good.

Surprisingly enough, we made it to the car without being noticed. This made me optimistic, I was finally going to make things right.

**Jade's POV:**

He was Beck Oliver, and therefore, I couldn't resist him. That is why I agreed to follow him on his crazy trip, in the middle of the night, while I was supposed to be in a hospital bed. If someone discovered this, I was going to be in big trouble, like really big. But I have to admit I had had enough of this hospital, and Beck's idea of taking me out was literally the best thing he could've thought of.

I winced again when he put me in the seat of his car, my broken bones probably weren't totally healed. But well, the pain was bearable, and it was not a big price to pay when I could escape the hospital.

"Sorry." He said when he put me down.

"It's nothing, don't worry." I answered reassuringly.

"I hope so." He replied. "We will have to stop by my house, I got to take something from the RV." He then acknowledged me.

"Where are we going anyway? You didn't even tell me."

"And I won't. You'll see when we get there, it's a surprise!" He said, grinning widely. I don't know why, but his smile was contagious today, and I did my best trying to keep a serious face so he would tell me where we were going.

"I'm not blindly following!" I tried to say as seriously as I could, but I think he didn't buy it.

"Yes you are." He said, still smiling. We had arrived at his house, it wasn't that long of a ride. "I'm coming back right now."

He got off his car and started walking, leaving me there, alone in complete darkness. I started to freak out a little bit, but I wouldn't call him. I was just next to his house, nothing would happen, for sure. I repeated that to myself as I tried keeping my breathing steady. Fortunately, he came back quickly.

"Are you okay?" He said as soon as he saw my face. Concern was all I could discern in his face.

"Yes, I am." I said, but he didn't seem to believe me. "I'm fine." I added, putting my hand on his. He looked at both our hands, than back at me, he was smiling again, it was heart-warming.

We didn't talk for the rest of our ride, but it was a comfortable silence, only troubled by the music of his radio. Just like the ones we used to have before the "door incident", well back then I used to lean on his shoulder while he drove, complaining about how I was not letting him concentrate but not really meaning it.

After a while, Beck stopped the car, we were in the middle of nothing. What was he planning to do?

"We're here." He said as he got off.

"Here? Where is here?" I asked, not believing this was the place he was so eager to bring me to.

"You will see." He said, nodding. I was seriously wondering what was wrong with him now. He opened my door, and a wave of cold air entered the car. I shivered. Beck noticed that and started to take off his jacket.

"Don't do that, I'm not cold!" I lied. Everyone would have believed me, I'm a great actress after all. But Beck knew better, and he gave me his jacket anyway.

He took me in his arms again -not that I minded- and entered what seemed to be a forest.

"I hope you know where we are." I said looking at his face, it was illuminated by the moonlight. What a beautiful sight. Yes, believe it or not, this just came from Jade West's mouth.

"Staring is rude." He stated.

"I'm not staring, there's nothing worth that." I said sarcastically, he only smiled.

"Where here." He said, stopping. I was finally going to what was this place he so-wow! As I turned my head, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was just magnificent. The forest was dark, the moon was the only light making its way trough the thick trees, and then there was the ferocious river following its path. It was freaky, just like the forest where the main character of my favorite movie –the scissoring- came to cut every inch of his enemy's body and throw them in the river. This place was perfect.

"Wow." Was all I could manage to say.

**Beck's (very short) POV:**

I knew I had done the right thing bringing her here when I saw her eyes sparkling. She was like an angel coming from heaven, and this place matched her perfectly. It was frightening at first sight, but when you took a deeper look, you could see all its beauty.

That moment was so perfect I couldn't help but to kiss her. She was surprised at first but then responded to it. It felt relieving; so many feelings were rushing over me. It was blinding and I couldn't think anymore. How was it possible that it felt like the first time every time I kissed her?

No matter what the consequences would be, I didn't care right now. I couldn't have cared less if it had been the end of the world. I was there, with my lover in my arms, kissing her, nothing could ruin the moment, absolutely nothing.

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**So? Is it so bad I should stop writing? Or do you want a new chapter? (I won't take long this time)**

**Please R&R! **

**See you very soon!**


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